Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Are we still banned from the library?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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