Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
