Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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