You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
vagina is talking i cant
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
