If that was your dad, he is hot
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
