I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize