2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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