He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
