it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
