he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
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I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
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Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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