This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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