i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We got so high we made milksteak
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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