All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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