I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
