At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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