shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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