Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
