It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
