if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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