I'm really into asian looking animals
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
