I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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