Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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