you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
