he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
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At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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