I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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