Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
