Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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