You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
