Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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