When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
