yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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