i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
