yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
