Where did you get a picture of my penis
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
