I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize