...so i touched it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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