I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
