i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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