so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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