i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
