I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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