I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
