Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
