yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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