We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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