I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
