the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
