Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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