At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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