The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
