Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
