I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
That reminds me...we need to get swords
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
