I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
