He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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