No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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