Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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