every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
